Is it a moment of weakness or a moment of growth?

 Hello world, it's me Paige. I woke up late, made a western egg wrap, made a few business calls and one personal. The day went by quick and with only brief moments of presence. I try daily to check my motives, be aware of my actions, and to live in the moment. This is a on going challenge for me. 

 Anyways, Right now I am feeling a bit off-set. I have let time run its course and I am still feeling extremely tolerable of the actions of others and myself. I cant seem to let go of some.... I cant seem to hang on to others. In this moment... and difficult to confess,  I am still in love with him. Its form has changed shape. Now posing as an unconditional and forgiving love. A love I know I can never physically feel again, but a love I know will always exist. It appears as a weakness. But I don't want to believe it. I now catch myself thinking "What would god do?". I think he would forgive all those nasty things you said to me. I know you didn't mean them... and I think that's all I needed to let off my chest. I know you didn't mean them and I forgive you. I hope he is happy. I hope he finds great peace and new love. I will let go completely one day. Good night world. Sleep well.