A little bit of good in the worst of us and ....

A little bit of bad in the best of us.

Today was a awesome day at the office! Got the job done for the day and closed it out but not before a cabinet broke and 200 laptops feel on my ankle! A bit painfull but I'll be alright. I was excited to be able to come home alone and be quiet and still and play with my iphone and all the things I want to do when I am alone but never find the alone time!

Do you think its possible to sense someones presence? Or is it our own senses drawing us back to a place we want to rememeber?

I thought I could smell him getting off the plane. And slowly my mind crept into the darkplace I fear of lonliness and wonder. As the thoughts spiraled, visions of what they used to be like. A faded memory of their shadow, their smell. The fear again crept over me. The fear where your always looking over your shoulder to find them lurking there. I decided to play into it a little since it had been a while.

I turned on the one song that came to mind as if I knew the memory was fading fast. One last Cry by Brian McKnight. I let the tears fall down my face and trickle onto my curled chin. The combination of mac mascara and salty water rolled over my lip. There was a calmness there as if it were OK to be there at that moment. There was a hope perhaps faith that I knew I would move through it soon. At the same time a burning in the pit of my stomach, as if my insides were folding in. Since this feeling is a familiar one I know where this leads. I let go.

Maybe I will be alone the rest of my life. If this is what I have to accept that's what I am going to work on. A friend says if you have 1 person in your life that's there for the long haul you are lucky. If its one friend I can count on to be there I know I will never be alone.

Good night world. Good night.