Acceptance and what I learned last week :)

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at that moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.Shakespeare said, “All the world's a stage, and all the men and women in it... merely players.” he forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out because I knew you wanted perfection just as I did. AA and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God’s handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.

My sponsor told me to read this everyday for 2 weeks and to pray for the people or persons in my life causing me grief for all the things you would wish for yourself to wish for them. So far so good. The funny thing is, in my head, when I am saying the prayer there is another voice in the background picturing the worst possible thing to happen to that person!!! Its crazy, I know, but its not?!? I told my sponsor this as well and she says "We are not perfect, we are human, and we are trying to find a way to live with ourselves and without the problem". Its OK as long as I am trying... That's what counts.

I realized I try to hard to be perfect and in the end I disappoint myself. Its OK to be me, crazy, normal, funny, sad, pissed, loving, caring me.